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The Official Site of Shaykh Abdul Raheem
(Damat Barakaatuhum)

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Q555: politeness when a friend keeps asking for money

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Q1.salaam shaykh how are u? i have a major problem,i have a freind that i have known for many years,for the past 4 years he has been taking money off me,i have calculated the amount and it comes to an amount of approximately 1500 POUNDS! please can u give me advice on how to stop him from asking me,also i find it hard to tell him straight to his face as i have known him since a young age and i do not want to ruin our freindship,please can u advise me on this matter

salaam

A1. I read this story somewhere which is very pertinent to your situation.

A benevolent man was asked for loans by many people who, despite being wealthy, neglected to pay back the loan. Also, many wealthy people used to eat at his house on a regular basis. Both groups of people were taking advantage of this man’s generosity. Finally, the man got exasperated and sought counsel from one of his close friends, who advised him that he should discreetly talk to those who owed him money and say that he himself was in need of a large amount. He was also advised to ask those who always ate at his house for some loan as he required it for some purpose. The result was that they stopped coming to his house and those who owed him money stopped asking for more.

Your situation is very similar to that of this person. Your friend will not stop asking until you ask him for money for some purpose. You should avail yourself of the first opportunity which would require you to pay a large sum of money such as buying a car etc. and ask him for help in this regard.

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